Amazing date

So I finally met the really amazing woman Cari that I mentioned in my last post and that I’ve been talking to for a little bit over a month now. I was a nervous wreck all yesterday and ended up getting a haircut in Cleveland, TN on my way to Chattanooga because nowhere was open in Hicksville Fannin county. Luckily I made it on time and we went to Cari’s favorite restaurant and had a great meal. Meeting her in person was amazing and she was everything I had hoped for and more. I have to admit that I already had feelings for this special woman and getting to hold her in my arms and just to be in her presence had me with pretty much a permagrin. Lol. Once I got over my nervousness that is.

So we had dinner and then watched a movie at her place and I had an amazing time. Well worth the hour and a half drive each way. I don’t like to jinx things or get my hopes up because they have been dashed many a time, but I really like Cari. She makes me happy and wonder what she sees in an average guy like me. So wish me luck please.

I’m still alive

So I’m sure it’s been ages since I posted and my grammar or spelling might be off because I’m hunting and pecking on the iPad. The main reason I haven’t posted is that a bit over six weeks ago I fell and broke my wrist. Stupid dog had peed on the floor and I slipped off my feet and I guess tried to brace myself with my hand. Not good times. I had to drive myself to the ER so they wouldn’t give me any pain meds because I was driving home. They sent me home with a scrip I couldn’t fill til the next morning and a freaking Motrin.

Then two days later I got to have my first cast of my life. If you’ve never had one, they suck. I’ve essentially been one handed for six weeks. Good news is that yesterday I got it off and exchanged for a splint, which I can actually take off to shower and such. That’s big. It’s also much less cumbersome. Bad news is that I might have to have surgery to get it back to completely normal. Just wait and see right now.

The other big news in my life is that I gave up on my old dating site Plentyoffish because it was such a pain and too many casual people and joined eharmony. I’d tried it some years back and never had much luck on there but this time I have. It’s early and I don’t want to jinx it, but I met a really special woman named Cari on there and she’s kinda amazing. We’ve been texting and talking a ton but the more I get to know her, the more I like her. It doesn’t hurt that’s she’s hot in addition to being smart, funny, fun to talk to, and really sweet. She’s truly been the first bright spot in a dark bit of my life. I don’t want to get ahead of myself and we are going slow but I actually feel happy for a change. So wish me luck 🙂

Well, I can’t take anymore hunting and pecking but I am still alive and I’ll try to start posting again as the wrist gets better.

Thursday blahs

Well. I can’t say I’ve had a bad day per se. I’ve gotten some schoolwork done and have had guys here working on my deck and gutters. I’ve just been nervous all day waiting for the test results call from the dr’s office that may or may not come today. Ugh.

I’m glad it’s Thursday though. This has been a looong week. After going down to Atlanta last weekend I’m looking forward to planting my ass on the couch on Saturday and watching some serious football. Got LSU coming to UGA at 3:30 and I’d be stupid to not be worried about this game. I think the Dawgs can put up some points but the D and Special Teams need to get their shit together to win this one. I think I’m already starting to get that corndog smell from the LSU fans that will be coming lol.

I’m listening to the audiobook of the new Stephen King book Doctor Sleep. I’m not too far in but it seems pretty good so far. It’s ostensibly a sequel to The Shining. One of the main characters is the kid from that book now grown up. I’ll see if it’s worth a recommendation once I finish it.

Anyway, off to get a bit more work done and wondering if I want the phone to ring or not.

Time Wasted

Ugh, so I’ve had kind of shitty week so far. Been nervous because today was my followup Dr’s appointment to have more tests done to see if the results from the last ones were just an anomaly. Now I have to wait to hear back from the ones today, and if those are off have to go get more done. I’ve seriously changed my life as far as drinking and eating in the last month and I just want to be healthy. So fingers crossed I guess.

I also just busted my ass on my back deck b/c it’s got some film of moss on it and gets slick when it’s rained. I grabbed onto a crappy wooden chair to break my fall and that slammed into like right under my armpit. Hurts but it could have been a lot worse I guess.

I’ve also just been in a pissy mood this week because I finally decided to dip my toes back into the dating world and of course I see my effing ex’s profile on the dating site I use pretty much right off. I don’t know why but it pissed me off. This from the chick that claimed she was going to be too broken up and busy with school and work to even think about a relationship for a long time after we finally broke up. Now I have to see her sorry ass everytime I look at who’s viewed my profile.

But, after a few days of this I’ve just gotten to the point of saying fuck it. It’s not like I want her back. I can and will do better than her. I can find someone that is emotionally available and better looking and more simpatico with me. It will of course take some work, but it will happen. I’m just honestly pissed at myself for wasting several years on this person(I’m being nice and not using the b-word). But, what’s done is done and I have to believe that things will work out how they should in the end. I’m more ready to settle down now and I know what NOT to do in relationships and the types of relationships I should NOT be in. Not saying I don’t have my own faults I need to work on, but I can do better than her, and will.

Anyway, I’m off to cook some dinner and then try to workout if my side doesn’t hurt to bad from the fall. Hope everyone’s having a good week and please send any thoughts or wishes or whatever that I’ll get good news tomorrow or whenever they get the test results back.

Quick outs

Had a decent weekend in Atlanta. Got to see my buddy Collin and his wife Becky last night. We cooked steaks and watched football. Was great to see them.

Didn’t strictly follow my new dietary plan this weekend: had to get some PF Chang’s on Friday night and didn’t have my daily smoothie yesterday.

Still, my mom had a scale and I’ve lost like over ten lbs already between cutting out the beer and eating better.

My goal is to basically never eat fast food or junk food and cut out as many processed foods as I can. Who would have guessed I’d turn into a health nut?

Dawgs played a sloppy game on Saturday against a team they should have blown out. It was raining so that was probably part of it but if they want to beat LSU this coming weekend they better get some things shored up: particularly special teams.

Next to the last episode of Breaking Bad tonight. I’m dvring it right now to watch in a bit. It’s been an amazing final season.

Wings from McD’s. Yuck.

I hate the smarmy redhead bitch from the Wendy’s commercials.

If you’re a college football fan I highly recommend the book The System by Armen Keteyian and Jeff Benedict. I listened to the audiobook and honestly wasn’t bored for a single minute of the 15 hours or whatever it was. Goes into virtually every aspect of the sport and has some great stories and personalities. Shows both the good and bad sides of my favorite game.

I like the look and some of the new features of the new iOS that they just released with the new phones. Wasn’t sure at first but it’s growing on me

Nice of Facebook to finally not still show my ex on my chat list months after I blocked her.

Along those lines I need to find a new dating site. Had her damn profile pop up earlier on the one I’ve used for years. Of course she was going to be too upset and busy to look for someone new for a long time(sarcasm).

Well, I need to finish up some school stuff. Hope everyone had a good weekend.

Checking in

I’m still alive. Just been busy as hell lately with getting this house ready to be sold. Had to have my driveway redone last week and this coming week getting the back deck sanded and restained. Fun and exciting stuff I know but the faster this place sells the faster I can get back to civilization.

I have to head down to Atlanta this weekend to housesit for my mom while she’s on vacation and I’m already planning the restaurants I’m going to get food from. I’ve been basically a health nut since I had my little health scare. I’m having a smoothie with Kale and other veggies with a bit of fruit so it doesn’t taste horrible for lunch everyday and I haven’t had fast food in about a month. No junk food either. Started walking again at least every other day and I’m even lifting weights again for the first time in years. I can’t really join a gym because I don’t know how much longer I’ll be here but luckily I have a decent bench and some free weights. I don’t keep a scale around but between cutting out the beer and eating better I’ve probably already lost some weight. Gonna be buff before long..lol

I’m doing pretty well with the drinking thing. I haven’t been drunk in at least three weeks and I’m down to a glass or maybe two of red wine if I do drink. Beer was making me fat and red wine’s supposed to be good for you anyhow. I used to hate red wine but I have more of an appreciation for it now.

Anyway, just wanted to write a few words in case anyone thought or cared if I’d fallen off the face of the earth. I keep meaning to get back to posting on a regular basis but it just hasn’t happened yet.

First post in ages

I haven’t posted in forever it seems like. I doubt anyone bothers to check this blog anymore. I’ve had things I wanted to write but just have been busy in addition to having a shit month or two. Between my grandmother dying, another bad breakup, and having to work my ass off to get this house on the market so I can move back closer to civilization, I’ve been stressed and overwhelmed. Add to that getting some not so great results on some medical tests a couple weeks back and my life has been pretty much shit lately.

Anyway, as far as what’s been going on with me, like I said I’ve just been stressed and sad and a bit out of it lately. I’m only taking one class this semester, an online one at that, because I’ve got to get this house listed and sold so I can move onto another phase of my life. It’s beautiful up here and most people would probably kill to live on a river but I just feel way too isolated. I don’t want to move all the way back down into Atlanta because I can’t deal with the traffic and don’t really fit in there anymore, but I’d like to restaurants to eat at, places to shop, and to not have to drive 20 mins to get to a decent grocery store.

I’m also sick of being a hermit. I know noone up here that I care to see and while I’m someone that isn’t that affected by loneliness, I feel like the world is passing me by. I’m already making some changes in my life and moving out of here will be one of the bigger ones. I’m finally starting to eat healthy and starting to exercise again. I’ve basically quit drinking again, partly for health reasons and partly because I don’t want to get back to where I was in the bad old days. I might have a beer or two here and there but I haven’t had more than two or three beers in a night in a month or two.

So I guess with all the negativity in my life I’m at least making some changes for the positive. Plus it’s football season again so that always cheers me up, even if my Dawgs might not have a great year this year. I’ve got company coming this weekend and I’m excited about that. It’s been ages since I’ve not been alone up here. I’ve just been working on this house, reading a lot, and watching a lot of movies. I want to have a life again. I’d like to be able to see the few friends I still have left more than a couple of times a year.

I’m taking some time off from relationships for a bit. If I happened to meet the right woman that could change, but I don’t have the patience or willpower to do the online dating thing again right now and I’m sure as hell not gonna meet the love of my life around these parts. I need to get my shit together as far as losing weight and getting into better shape healthwise before I’d want to dip my toe in that pool again anyhow. Not to mention after this semester I need to focus on school so I can finally not be the resident fuckup of my circle of friends anymore.

Well, that’s about all I can really think of to write tonight. It’s already late and I should be asleep; gotta love insomnia. If anyone actually reads this, thanks and I’ll try to actually post something interesting in the near future that doesn’t have to do with me. I’ve read a ton of books lately so maybe I’ll do a book recommendation thing again. Peace.

FML

Every feel like you have days/nights where you can’t do or say anything right with anyone? I sure as hell do: and tonight has been one of those nights. So when in doubt, get drunk I guess. I may post random music videos on here tonight til I pass out, hopefully no repeats. Hope everyone is having a better night than me.

My life lately

Well, I’ve had an eventful couple of weeks in both good and bad ways and just haven’t had the time nor inclination to really write anything on here, but tonight I figured I would.

So first off, a bit more than a week ago my grandmother had a bad stroke. She’s my last remaining grandparent and is 93. I’m not really sure what’s going to end up happening. She’s stable and one day people are optimistic and the next pessimistic so I don’t know what to think. The best case scenario at this point is that she would go back to the nursing home she was in and might be able to speak again with therapy, which isn’t really that great a best case. She lived alone til she was 92 and then finally had to be put in a home, which she hated. I’ve been to the place and it’s not horrible but for someone to lose their independance has to suck. She already had dementia to where she’d have good days and bad days as far as knowing who you were. But she was really unhappy in the home and let my mom and aunts know it. That’s what I mean about the best case scenario sucking. Worst case is that she’s made it known that she doesn’t want to be kept alive like a vegatable and the doctors can’t seem to figure out if there’s a chance at progress or not. So while I’m pretty much an agnostic, any kind thoughts or whatever would be appreciated.

The other big news is that I’m not longer single, and while longtime readers of this blog might think me stupid or be amazed, the person I’m seeing is my ex Bri, the one that I talked a lot of shit about on here in the past. It wasn’t a planned thing: I hadn’t talked to her in like a year and obviously things ended badly the last time. I was sitting around one night and got a message from a girl on plentyoffish, an online dating site that I’ve been on for years but hadn’t even bothered with for ages. I answered it anyhow though and was exchanging messages with this girl. I come to find out that she’s the best friend/roommate of my ex, which I thought was an amazing coincidence(though it turned out not to be). Anyway, after messaging back and forth with Britney for awhile she said she thought I had undealt with emotions when it came to Bri. I thought about this and realized I really did need some kind of closure. When Bri and I broke up she just flat stopped talking to me and I heard things second and third hand and people that shouldn’t have been involved got involved. And I’m a hothead so I did and said some things I still regret.

Anyhow, Britney(the roommate/BFF) gave me Bri’s number and we started texting and while at first I was still pissed off about some things we realized that we actually didn’t hate each other, and that some of the things I thought had gone down one way had not really gone down like that and that if we had talked after we broke up things might not have gotten so ugly. After we got through the breakup shit we ended up texting for like the whole day and night. And then after some time and a lot of talking and laying down some ground rules to avoid the pitfalls of our past, we decided to give it another try. As I said, some who have read what I wrote after the breakup might find this crazy, but I was hurt and I turn into a mean person when I’m hurt. I never stopped caring about her, I just pretty much gave up on romance and focused on school. Oh, and Britney has since admitted to me that she knew about me and it wasn’t just dumb luck that she messaged me and I knew her best friend, though Bri wasn’t in on the scheme. She thought we needed to talk, and I owe her for that.

So anyway, that’s how that came about, and I’m actually happy right now. I don’t know what the future will bring but I’m optimistic. I’ve grown up a lot in the last year believe it or not. Bri and I have spent a lot of time together in the last couple of weeks and we’ve had some fun and also I’ve realized that I never really stopped loving her. It’s also been great having someone in my life to support me with the stuff with my grandmother and I’m just all round happier. I don’t feel like a hermit that’s going to die alone anymore, which is nice lol. I don’t know if I believe in fate but it just feels more right with her this time than it did in the past, and while the last half of our previous relationship was shitty at times, we had some good times in the first half and I’m more willing to work on keeping things good than I was in the past, as I think she is too. We know each others’ faults and good qualities, and that counts for a lot really. I’ve also had more than enough time to reflect on past mistakes I’ve made and while I presented a one sided view in my rants on here, I certainly wasn’t blameless in our past problems. I just know that I love her and I’m happier now than I have been in a long time. So wish us luck.

Facebook, how do I love thee? Let me count the ways

I know I’ve bitched about Facebook on here before in how I think it’s for a lot of people a way to present their lives as being perfect to people that they don’t ever actually see, but I actually think it’s more insidious than that. I got a friend request from someone the other day whose first name I recognized but not the last name, clicked on it, and it was one of my ex girlfriends from some years ago. I didn’t really delve too deeply into the profile but obviously since she had a different last name she was married. For whatever reason, maybe sentimentality, I accepted the request. Then today I check my newsfeed or whatever the fuck it is and find out she just had a kid. While I’m happy she and her husband had a kid, and I’m not singling her out, it still pisses me off that Facebook basically reminds me on a regular basis what a loser I am.

Now of course it’s noone’s fault but mine that I’m a 36 year old single loser with no kids, but still, do I have to subscribe to a service to remind me of this? I dwell on it plenty w/o having it shoved in my face. I’ve contemplated just deleting my Facebook acct on several occasions for the aforementioned reasons, but I keep it because it’s the only way I keep in touch with some of my friends. With all the bullshit they add to it every day, can’t I get some kind of filter that will avoid me getting updates or friend requests that make me feel like shit? Come on Zuckerberg or whatever the hell your name is, I’m sure I’m not the only one that feels this way.