Time Wasted

Ugh, so I’ve had kind of shitty week so far. Been nervous because today was my followup Dr’s appointment to have more tests done to see if the results from the last ones were just an anomaly. Now I have to wait to hear back from the ones today, and if those are off have to go get more done. I’ve seriously changed my life as far as drinking and eating in the last month and I just want to be healthy. So fingers crossed I guess.

I also just busted my ass on my back deck b/c it’s got some film of moss on it and gets slick when it’s rained. I grabbed onto a crappy wooden chair to break my fall and that slammed into like right under my armpit. Hurts but it could have been a lot worse I guess.

I’ve also just been in a pissy mood this week because I finally decided to dip my toes back into the dating world and of course I see my effing ex’s profile on the dating site I use pretty much right off. I don’t know why but it pissed me off. This from the chick that claimed she was going to be too broken up and busy with school and work to even think about a relationship for a long time after we finally broke up. Now I have to see her sorry ass everytime I look at who’s viewed my profile.

But, after a few days of this I’ve just gotten to the point of saying fuck it. It’s not like I want her back. I can and will do better than her. I can find someone that is emotionally available and better looking and more simpatico with me. It will of course take some work, but it will happen. I’m just honestly pissed at myself for wasting several years on this person(I’m being nice and not using the b-word). But, what’s done is done and I have to believe that things will work out how they should in the end. I’m more ready to settle down now and I know what NOT to do in relationships and the types of relationships I should NOT be in. Not saying I don’t have my own faults I need to work on, but I can do better than her, and will.

Anyway, I’m off to cook some dinner and then try to workout if my side doesn’t hurt to bad from the fall. Hope everyone’s having a good week and please send any thoughts or wishes or whatever that I’ll get good news tomorrow or whenever they get the test results back.

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