First post in ages

I haven’t posted in forever. I’d like to say it was all due to me being busy, which I have been, but part of it has just been laziness, which is stupid because once I start writing I generally enjoy it. I’ve been quite busy with school. The computer classes are easy but having to retake college algebra after 15 years of basically avoiding math like it’s the plague is pretty tough. I’ve amazingly got a B in the class after two tests but it still gives me headaches having to do shit like quadratic equations and such again. Shit that I will basically never use in my life again. But oh well, that’s the state university system. At least I did well enough on the entrance exams that I’m not having to take lower level math classes.

I’ve also been busy just with this stupid house. The house I live in is actually owned by my mom so no rent but I pay utilities and such. But even though it’s only like 4 or 5 years old all sorts of shit is going wrong with it and she’s sick of sinking money into it and I’m sick of having to deal with the problems and also am going to need to be closer to Atlanta next fall to take the classes I need. So, looks like I’ll be looking for a place closer to Atlanta over the summer. I don’t think I want to move back into the city or Buckhead or Vinings like my mom wants me to, but I need to be closer to the city. Would also be nice to see my friends without having to drive an hour and 20 mins or so each way. I’ll probably look to stay on the northside of town, maybe Canton or somewhere a little bit closer. I don’t really fit into the Buckhead lifestyle anymore since I’m not pulling down 100k plus a year and driving a beamer, and none of my friends really live near there anymore.

Since I try to be honest on here, I’ll explain further my feelings about living around where I grew up. I basically feel like my life thus far has been pretty much a failure and anytime I’m down in Atlanta I dread running into someone I went to school with. I went to one of the pricier and more prestigious private schools in Atlanta and already was used to being around kids whose parents had a lot more money than mine did, but these days I dread running into someone I went to high school with and having to have the excruciating conversation about what we both have been and are doing since then. Hell, I’d probably feel the same way running into people I went to college with which is why I don’t go to homecoming and stuff like that. I have my small group of friends that I guess accept me as the fuck up of the bunch, and I appreciate them for accepting me. I do feel good that I’m back in school and actually DOING something to better my life now because it makes me feel less worthless, but I still have those feelings a lot. I think that’s part of why I’ve become a mountain hermit. Up here I’m doing better than most by a ways.

The reason I mention living close to where I grew up is that my rich cousin has a townhouse she no longer lives in that she is in the process of telling the people that are living in it to get the fuck out, so my mom wants me to rent or even come to some arrangement to buy it from her. But it’s pretty much in the same area I grew up in, and I know I’d run into people from my past there, and I’ve already gone into why I don’t like that idea. To be honest, I also don’t really want to be five mins from my mom either. I love her, but we do much better with a few miles between us.

So yeah, I think I’m a bit too used to the country and not rich enough these days to live there. Probably better for me to find the happy medium: somewhere that I’m not isolated like I am here, but also not somewhere that I’ll feel like a fish out of water. Plus once I get out of school I’m sure there’s a hell of a lot more computer related jobs closer to the city than up here in the hinterlands. But, I hate moving so I’m not gonna really think too much about it until this summer.

Anyway, that’s about all that’s been going on with me. Been watching the hell out of March Madness the last couple of days…the one good thing about working from home and having classes at night is that the first thursday and friday are really the best parts of the tourney.


One thought on “First post in ages

  1. You are not a screw up (apparently I cannot use the f word) Would I be friends with a screw up? Of course not. Everything happens when it should, even if it doesn’t seem that way. You are on the right path my friend – hang in there 🙂

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s