So it’s almost 840 in the am eastern time and I’m working on about two hours of sleep in the last 48 or so and I’ve now reached that point where my body is exhausted but my mind feels like I’m on some kind of speed. I couldn’t sleep Wednesday night because I was upset about something and then the insomnia kicked in and I’m trying not to rely on the ambien too much anymore. I was tired as hell all day yesterday and meant to get to sleep at a decent hour last night but then I ended up getting into a long fight with someone that I really care about…the fact that I was running on empty as far as sleep goes probably didn’t help that situation either.
I’m the type of person where when I get in a fight or argument I always feel like I have to get the last word in and by this point it was in the late hours of the night and my lack of sleep or coherent thought only exacerbated things and now I may have fucked up things with this person beyond repair so now I’m sad and pissed off at myself which isn’t helping the case for sleep. I don’t know why I feel the need to fuck everything up in my life sometimes but it really sucks.
Thank god I only have a bit of work to do today and no classes since ill probably end up sleeping half the day away and will still be pretty much worthless. Guess it’s a good thing I don’t have any plans this weekend. I’m so tired that my body hurts yet like I said my mind is still in overdrive.
I just really hope there’s some way to salvage things with the person I had the fight with but I’m not feeling too optimistic at the moment and that makes me sad. Well, off to try sleep again I guess…what a fun day so far.