So I had a decent day today and am in a pretty good mood despite having to bust my ass to finish a paper for my class and then driving down to Jasper to turn it in before the prof let us go for the night after 15 mins. I think I’m finally starting to just be able to let go of my anger, which is obviously the way to go. Yeah, I literally despise my ex gf for being dishonest and I hate myself for taking her back the first two times after I broke up with her, only to get screwed over in the end. But that’s the sad thing about hating someone, it doesn’t affect them one bit, it only fucks you up. So there’s no point in it. I can’t say I wish the bitch a happy life, but I’m sure as hell not going to think about her anymore, even in an angry way.
I’m honestly not a naturally vindictive or hateful person. There’s probably at least two women that read this blog that I’ve been involved with in one way or another in the past that would have good things to say about me. For me I just have triggers, and someone being dishonest to me and then me not being able to get out my anger about it to them directly just frustrates the hell out of me. I want that satisfaction, fleeting as it is.
I take things very personally, and I don’t understand how other people can just fuck someone over and not even feel bad about it, but..that’s life. There’s just as many shitty people out there as good ones. You just have to hope you can tell between the two.
Anyway, though this is my blog, I do apologize to anyone that reads it for the massive self indulgence lately. I use this blog as my place to vent in addition to other things, and lately it’s been nothing but venting. Maybe it makes for interesting reading but I doubt it. So I’ll try to get back to writing about shit other than myself now.