Disappointment

This is something that I’ve been thinking about lately, not in a general sense but specifically in terms of the human capacity to be disappointed or to disappoint. I’m sure everyone has someone in their life that consistently disappoints them: it could be a friend, a lover, or a family member. Someone that just keeps disappointing you, to the point where maybe they aren’t in fact disappointing you but really living up to expectations if you would just look realistically at them. And paradoxically you could very well be that person in someone else’s life.

There’s the old adage about doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results being the definition of insanity, but if that were true, then in terms of relationships, all of us are probably insane at some point in our lives.

I’ve always believed, or wanted to believe, that people can change because otherwise my own personal flaws, let alone those of others, will never go away or be able to be remedied. I’m one of those people that always thinks things can be fixed, talked out, worked out..etc. But the older I get the more trouble I have believing this. I still have to think that individuals can change themselves over time, but in terms of relationships, it seems like some are just destined to fall into the same patterns no matter what.

All of this is really just a long winded and overly contemplative way of saying that I too have someone in my life that consistently disappoints me. I keep thinking things will be different this time and yet they always end up the same. It’s probably my fault as much as theirs for hoping for a different outcome, and anytime there are problems between two people, both people are usually at fault in some way. And at a certain point, is it their fault for acting the same way or mine for expecting something different?

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2 thoughts on “Disappointment

  1. Both people are at fault. One of the hardest things for me to learn has been that people don’t change- at least I can’t change them. People are who they are and they don’t change except in extreme circumstances. If you expect them to change or try to change them then you are crazy.

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