My life as an orphaned college football fan

So I haven’t been able to post a lot today with homework and school and I noticed the stuff that I have posted has been a little pissy sounding, so now it’s time for some sports.

College football: the only sport that matters in the south and my personal favorite. Maybe they have these in other parts of the country..probably Michigan and Ohio..but one thing you’ll see a lot of in the south is really whipped guys driving around with front license plates that have two different college team logos on them, and a caption that says “A House Divided”. Now I’m just assuming these guys are whipped because I don’t know any guy that would willingly put that on the front of his car or truck, but who knows. The point is, both men and women and whole families take these things seriously.

Now if you’re like most kids in the South, you go one of two ways: your parents and/or gramdparents didn’t go to college but chances are they picked the big state or local school to follow and so you do as well…or..one or both of your parents did go to college at some big state school and possibly even met there and obviously you’re raised a fan of that school’s team.

It gets a bit trickier when both parents went to college at seperate schools and both actually care about football…not all women do..though more in the south seem to. The kid can usually pick one of the parents'(usually the dad’s)teams to follow as a kid and then he or she will go off to one of the big state schools and that becomes their team if it happens to be a different one.

I fall into the latter category with an extra layer or two of complications. My mom went to the University of Georgia, as did her grandfather and most anyone that went to college on her side of the family. She’s not a huge football fan but she’ll watch the games from time to time. My dad on the other hand, went to Georgia Tech, one of the bigger rivals of UGA. He’s not really a huge sports guy and when he and mom got divorced when I was 8 or 9..and mom and I came home to the south, he stayed up north for his job…so it’s not like I was watching games with him or anything.

But, for whatever reason, maybe to piss off my mom a little, and partly because it seems more manly to follow your dad’s team, I pulled for Georgia Tech in my early years back in the south. It probably didn’t hurt that UGA sucked around then and GT actually won a championship in 1990 and kids are born front runners.

So it would seem to follow a pretty natural progression that I would be a GT fan. Except for the fact that in my high school years I was far more interested in attempting to get laid(major emphasis on the attempting part), smoking pot, drinking, and trying to be cool to give two shits about football. I was basically a long haired wannabe hippie stoner.

It wasn’t until I went off to college that I started to rediscover my southern roots, college football being a big part of that…one little snag though..I went to a small private school in South Carolina that does have a football program..but it’s in a lower division and noone really gives a shit about it. Everyone basically rooted for their family team. And by this time I’d basically reached the point with my dad where I thought he was an asshole, which I still do..so I’d be damned if I was gonna pull for his alma mater.

So being surrounded by Clemson, South Carolina, Florida, Florida State, and any number of other school’s fans…I decided to go back to my roots on my mom’s side and declare myself a dyed in the wool UGA fan. There were actually a few of us around in college so it was pretty good…went to a few games…talked a lot of trash with other fanbases…etc.

Then I moved back to Atlanta, and pretty much lost track of most of my fellow UGA fan friends…the friends I still have are all fans of other teams..mostly Clemson…and I’ve become an orphan in my own state. I can’t tell you how much I envy my Clemson friends that all go to the games together and tailgate while I’m at home watching the UGA game on tv, usually alone. I don’t even know who I would call to go with me if someone GAVE me tickets to a UGA game..

I could name the 5th string running back on the team, watch every game, listen to the untelevised ones on the radios, and have a G tag on the front of my car…but alas..it’s pretty much a solo pursuit. My high points outside of games are reading every story I can find on the interwebs after every UGA game, including occasional lurking on opposing teams’ message boards if the dawgs win(hey, I’m not proud about it but what can I say?) and talking shit about our respective teams with my friends who are fans of other teams on the few occasions we still get together.

So in conclusion, if you live anywhere below the Mason-Dixon line, don’t let your kid become a college football orphan..even if it means letting your wife put the House Divided tag on the front of the mini van and having them turn into a football bigamist. There are worse fates…believe me.

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